This is the first post on my new blog, Friday Talks with Handling. My name is Mrs. Handling, but to many of my students, I respond to that, Handling, Mom, and more. I have been a high school teacher since 1999, and have loved just about every minute of it. Last year, I started giving what my students coined “Friday Talks.” Each Friday, I gave them just a little bit of wisdom I’ve gained through the years and wish someone had said to me when I was younger.
Throughout the school year, I will post videos, blogs, or both on here on Fridays for you to enjoy. I look forward to entertaining you this year. Please make sure to subscribe so you’ll get alerts when I update. Share with your friends and spread the word. Have a great summer! I’ll see you all soon!
We’re coming upon midterms, college applications, change of season, etc. and students are starting to crack a bit. Why? Because there is so much pressure to be perfect in today’s society. This is both unhealthy and unattainable.
I watch my kiddos get ready for midterms and I can’t help but wonder what would happen if they all failed? Would they all lose their minds? Would the world end? Would they all lose any hope of getting into college? The answer to all of these questions is No!
Failing is not a bad thing…as long as it is taken as a step in learning. In fact, to F.A.I.L is actually the First Attempt in Learning. We aren’t supposed to give up when it gets hard. We’re supposed to learn from the experience and grow while trying again until we get it right.
It’s unfortunate that in the pursuit of perfection, more and more students are demonstrating a lack of resilience, which is something older generations mastered out of necessity and survival. Before the age of advanced technology, we had to search for answers until we found them. We had to be creative with our problem solving, and we had to overcome hardships. The truth is we haven’t seen true hardship (think Great Depression, WWI, WWII, etc.) in quite some time. Kids don’t have to wait for answers. All we, as a society, have to do is ask Siri and she instantaneously searches the world and finds results. We live in a time of instant gratification. The result is the loss of resilience and the ability to bounce back.
As parents and educators, we stress the importance of going to college…too much. Considering only roughly 30% of the adult population has a higher degree and roughly 75% of incoming freshmen don’t finish college, we need to point out that there is a trend of lack of resilience. We talk about how many kids go straight to college from high school, but we never talk about how many come home after one semester because it was too hard. We’ve bubble wrapped an entire generation while slamming them with pressures, expectations, and incredible stress, and we aren’t giving them the coping mechanisms to deal with it. Instead, we shield them and hug them right before fixing the problem for them.
It’s time that kids learn how to FAIL. Let’s be there for them with words of encouragement while giving them the tools they will need to grow and overcome. Failure is not horrible. It’s an opportunity to learn.
So, next time you fail, take a deep breath, stand up, and try again. Trust me, it’ll all be worth it in the end.
First of all, I must apologize. For the last two weeks, the posts have been late, as my life has gotten a little crazy. I will do better this week.
As a recap of Friday’s talk, it really applies to every weekend, and not just Homecoming.
So, Friday, be aware of your surroundings when you are using vulgarities. Remember that when you are at a sporting event, there are people of all ages around you, and there is never a time someone should be forced to hear profanities when they don’t want to. You represent so much more than just you. Do it well and show the world that teenagers can have manners, your parents did well raising you, and you know how to behave.
Saturday, before getting dressed, remember to first put on your self-respect. There is a time and place for everything, and it’s NEVER in front of 100s of other people. Conduct yourself with grace while not compromising the morals and values of those around you.
Be safe. Don’t drink and drive. Don’t do drugs and drive. Don’t get in the car with someone who has been drinking or doing drugs. There is no excuse for being irresponsible anymore.
Friday’s Friday Talk was all about don’t be too proud to ask for help.
Right now is an extremely stressful time for students, and teachers. We’re only three weeks from midterms, college apps are coming soon, and the season is changing. For those who are affected by the weather, it’s happening and there is nothing to about it but ride it out.
All of this happening, and we can’t do this alone. As humans, we are social animals. We are not supposed to be alone. When we’re happy, it’s with others. When we’re sad, why wouldn’t it be the same? If you are feeling down, ask for help.
But here’s the thing. You’re friends are not equipped to help you. In fact, most people will listen, tell you they’re sorry, and reassure you it will be ok. Some will even try to console you with, “Five years from now it won’t matter.” But it does matter and you can’t ignore that. In most situations, your friends will listen and watch the wound gape open, but at the end, it’s still open and you haven’t gained any tools to close it. What you need to do is talk to someone who knows how to help you and guide you. We have a Wellness Center for you to use, and it’s confidential. The counselors are trained therapists, and it’s free. Use it. Walk in and ask to speak to someone. I promise it will help.
I want you to remember that you are deeply cared for and you are not alone. Do not be too proud to ask for help. It’s there for YOU. USE IT!
I wanted to talk about 9/11 on Wednesday, but my classes were taken by Senior Advising, so I’m going to talk about it today. I want to share my experience with 9/11 with you.
I was teaching in Hinesville, Georgia in 2001. I was teaching freshmen and it was between 1st and 2nd block when I ran to the restroom before class. When I got to the office, a teach came in and said, “A plane just hit the Pentagon.” It was confusing for me. For everyone. We had no idea what was going on. So, I went back to my room and plugged in my TV on its rolling cart and turned on the news. There before us was complete pandemonium. Two planes had struck the Twin Towers in New York City and now another had crashed into the Pentagon. At that point we didn’t know for sure what was actually happening. There was no social media to clue us in. People didn’t have phones to make videos that would livestream on Twitter or Instagram. Instead, we had to wait for the reports to come in through the news channels. There were still planes in the air, airports were shutting down, the President was on Air Force One somewhere in the country, and everyone looked confused.
By the time the fourth plane crashed in Pennsylvania, our lives and world had changed. I watched in horror as a city known for its beautiful colors and diversity was shrouded in gray ash and dust. There were no genders. There were no races. There were no ages. There were only displaced Americans searching for their loved ones and trying to save as many people as possible. It was complete devastation.
My husband was active duty Army at the time, and I tried calling him over and over, but I couldn’t reach him. The base had gone into lockdown and the soldiers were on alert. The only person I had to comfort me was me, alone in my family room (we’d been sent home from school) with my TV. I cried in the dark as the story continued to unfold.
That day, everything changed. We turned into a country afraid of what would happen next, but we also united as one determined to stand tall. Flags waved from homes, patriotic music played on the radio, and people came together as one. I will admit that there were some terrible sides to this too. Fear created racial profiling, isolating groups based on anger and rage. I’m not proud of those moments, but I am proud of the people who joined together in unity and pride.
Our country was like this for couple of years as we went to war and supported our troops, my husband being one of them. The focus was clear. Stand united and stop terror.
But then things shifts. It was gradual, but turned dark. We became a country divided based on the need for individuality resulting in divisive language and behaviors. As a parent and teacher, I know many athletes who can all say there is no I in TEAM. We cannot have a team filled with individuals and be successful. I wonder what would happen if we stopped focusing on how we are all different, but rather recognize the commonalities we share instead.
The title of the talk is find our green lights. We’re reading The Great Gatsby in class and have reached the point where Gatsby tells Daisy about his green light. The light on the end of her dock that represents his hope and dreams and goals. We all have a green light of our own. Mine being traditionally published. Yours might be passing IM3. We all have one. But what if we found another green light together? What if we started to work towards finding happiness through the use of love and honor?
I challenge you all to find peace this weekend. Give someone a hug and tell them you love them for who they are. Find the things we have in common and embrace them. Let’s stop fighting and start loving one another again.
As a little girl, I wasn’t raised in a perfect home. In fact, it was rather hostile and unhealthy. I watched my mom get divorced and remarried. My sisters moved out and I stayed with my mom through an extremely volatile situation until I was 20. Based on psychological studies and assumptions, I should be pretty messed up.
The truth is, I’m not perfect. I’ve had bouts of depression and I struggle with anxiety, but generally speaking, I’m pretty happy. See, I choose not to be defined by my childhood upbringing. It’s actually quite the contrary. I take my childhood experiences and turn them around. I choose to raise my children with love and safety. (Not that my mom chose our situation. It was a different time period.)
But how does this apply to you, I’m sure some of you are thinking. Well, life is about choices. I choose not to be a victim. I choose to be brave. I choose to stand up for myself. I choose to be a role model. I choose to give love. I choose to be the best version of myself. You can choose this too.
I know that some of you will go home this weekend and wish you were back at school. I know that there’s no such thing as perfect, and for some of you being home is the farthest thing from perfect. To that, I say I’m sorry. I wish I could make that better. But I can’t. What I can do is give you these words. Choose you. Choose to be the best version of yourself and spread positivism.
Make good choices. Choose to not do drugs. Choose to not drink. Choose to stay safe. Choose to surround yourself with good people. Choose to be a good person others want to be around. Make good choices.
If all else fails, ask WWHS? What would Handling say? 🙂
It’s been a long week. It’s been a tough week…for me. I can only imagine how it’s been for some of you. For some it’s been amazing. For some it’s been tiring. For some it’s been stressful. And for some, it calls for a do-over. For me, it’s just been challenging. So, I thought I’d talk about how to manage stress and hard times.
This weekend is Labor Day weekend and is the first day off of school for the school year. It offers us a three day weekend, which will allow for more sleep, work, relaxation, and more. I prefer to use three day weekends for recharging my physical and emotional batteries.
How do we do this? I’m a writer. I write. I encourage all to find a journal and write it all down. You don’t have to show anyone, but at least you are letting it go. At least you are forming the words and forcing them out of your mind and away from your soul. It’s a release. We are incapable of keeping everything bottled up forever. Eventually, it will surface in some way or another, whether it being through our physical health or our mental well-being. Either way, it won’t be good. We must take care of ourselves in order to be the best version of ourselves.
Take a moment to yourself and take a deep breath. Remind yourself that it will be ok, and we choose how we will allow things to affect us. Choose to make it better and try to breathe. Find an outlet that is productive and beneficial to your well-being. Go for a job, a walk, or even a hard run. Write it down and then throw it away. Make a list of ways to tackle the tasks ahead of you, and then take one on a time. Find a way to get control in what some feel are uncontrollable situations.
I care about you all and want you to be ok. Enjoy your weekend. Recharge your batteries. I know I’ll be doing the same.
Today’s Friday Talk is about taking responsibility for your actions. Everything we do is an action, whether it be physical or verbal. No matter what you do, you need to be able to own it. This weekend is the first home football game, which will be followed by after parties, traffic, and shenanigans. BE SAFE! Don’t drink! Don’t do drugs! If your DD has even one drink, you need to take the keys and get another ride. It’s truly not worth the risk. They may be mad at you the next day, but at least you’ll all be alive. Traffic around the game is going to be crazy. Please drive carefully.
Take responsibility for your actions. If you do something stupid or say something rude, you need to own it when you’re called on it. As an adult, you need to be able to look in the mirror and be proud of who you are, and that includes owning your behavior.
Along with taking responsibility, you need to be a leader. A leader is someone appointed or not appointed. You could be a captain of a team, president in a club, or just a leader in the class or peer group. A good leader is not a dictator. A good leader hears and listens to the people they lead, and they take action. A good leader leads through example rather than sets expectations he/she doesn’t follow. As a leader, it’s imperative that you are morally and ethically motivated. It’s more than a title. It’s a role of responsibility.
So, for this weekend, make good choices! Own your behavior and be a good leader.
We are often perceived for reasons we can control, but don’t. When we hang out with unethical or immoral people, others assume we are the same way. This is just a fact of life. So the question begs: why do we do this? If we want the world to see us for who we are, why do we surround ourselves with unhealthy influences.
In the spring, we clean out our closets. Or, at least I do. Each year, we get rid of clothes from the past that are either out of style or no longer fit. We don’t keep clothes from the 5th grade just because we once wore them. It’s time to clean out our closets and say good bye to the other clothes that don’t fit.
So what does this all mean? You need to surround yourselves with people who lift you, not bring you down. You need to be happy. I completely understand the notion that “I’ve known them since the 5th grade,” but that doesn’t mean you have to maintain a friendship if it’s not healthy. You are only responsible for your own happiness, which means you need to clean out the closet. Say “thank you” and “good-bye” to the things (or people) you have outgrown. Accept that you can’t change them, but you can change you. Be happy. Surround yourself with that, and nothing else. If you have a friend who is constantly putting you down, as yourself why you are still friends. If you are in a relationship where you fight more than you laugh, ask yourself why you are still in that relationship. If you find that people don’t want to hang out with your group, ask yourself what makes your group not desirable.
Take this weekend and take some inventory of your life. Somethings must stay, but others can go. Take the time and clean out your closet.
Hey guys! Welcome back to school this year. I’m so excited to meet you and be your teacher. This is the first installation to Friday Talks with Handling, and it’s your Welcome Back Talk.
Juniors, this is going to be a tough year. It’s the hardest one in your high school experience because, typically, it’s your heaviest work load. For many of you, you are getting your first jobs, your participating in extra-curricular activities, and you have multiple AP Classes or other challenging courses. It’s a lot to juggle on top of social, romantic, and familial challenges. Take a deep breath. You’re going to get through this. We’ve all been there, and I can tell you that organization is the key. Make sure to use a planner, schedule time to complete your homework so that you’re not staying up until all hours of the night, or worse, procrastinating until the very last minute. That in itself is a huge stress causer.
Take time for yourself. Remember that unless you take care of yourself, you can’t be the best version of yourself. Go outside and take a walk. Read a book…for fun! Take a nap. It’s important to still have fun. You got this.
Seniors, it’s your last year of high school. Holy Moly! One of the biggest regrets I hear from my students is that they didn’t get involved enough. This is HUGE! Even if you haven’t done it before, take a risk and join a club. Go to the games. Go to the dances. MAKE MEMORIES! Be smart about what you’re doing and make good choices. Make this year count.
I’m so excited to work with all of you. Have a great weekend!!!!
Friday Talks with Handling 